I spent my Labor Day weekend relaxing at my mother's house in New England. On my last night, we stood on the deck and looked at the stars. I noticed that some of them were so bright I saw them as soon as I stepped outside, while others were much dimmer and didn't appear until my eyes had adjusted.
Some ghosts from my past crept up on me this weekend and I started thinking--while you're interning, you're going to make some mistakes. These mistakes may seem like a good move for your career at the time but only time will tell. And yes, I've done it too.
Last year I was approached by someone at my internship to work on a side project with them. Sitting in her office, listening to her pitch, I was extremely flattered that she thought of me, a lowly intern, to work with her on this project, and I gladly accepted. It was a lot of work, a lot of time was put into it and little rewards were reaped. I did it because I looked at it as setting myself up in a good place for the future. However, I realized the work I was doing wasn't even close to what I wanted to do, and I cut myself from the project. I thought I made a clean break. It was hard for me to leave, because I knew how much my help was needed, and I know how small this industry is. You let one person down, and the next thing you know, nobody wants to work with you. It was something I had to do, and I felt I made the right choice. Over the weekend however, I found out that confidential information my coworkers had access to was still being used, even after I left.
You will hear thousands of times that the music industry is the shadiest of them all, but I like to believe that there lies some good in people, and that those industry scum bags you hear about are all a fabrication of some disgruntled ex-employee. This is not to say that everyone you meet will be one of these sleeze balls, but be aware these people do exist and the best thing you can do is hold your head up high and do the right thing, even if its not the easiest.
This situation really made me question what I'm doing in an industry where people lie, cheat, and steal to get ahead. I'm not like that, and I never will be, even if I sometimes wish I could be just to level the playing field. But the key to surviving the game is to figure out which star you want to be, the bright one that people notice immediately, or that dimmer one that doesn't appear until your eyes adjust to the darkness.
Me? I'm gonna let it shine.
Later that afternoon, an A&R that used to work for my boss came by to do some work matching up songwriters with producers, and other exciting A&R things. He introduced himself to me and for a long time, I've been prepping myself for the day I come face to face with an A&R. This is where the nerd in me shines, but whenever I listen to new music, I break it down and think of specific things I like and dislike, or what I would change about the song--just in case an A&R ever played a track for me and asked me what I thought of it. I always knew this was irrational, but less than an hour after that A&R had arrived, I was sitting in an office with him and responding to his questions, "What do you think about this song?" and "Which one of these songs do you like better?" He asked me what my background was and I told him all the places I interned and he said, "Wow, I've never heard that come out of an intern's mouth." He seemed pretty impressed with me and took me seriously once I told him that, and he even taught me a few things about working in A&R. Remember what I said, its all about networking!
I left work an hour early to catch a train home for my exciting Labor Day Weekend. I felt a little more confident after that chance encounter and that maybe, just maybe, this internship will have something to offer me.
Don't think I'm still not trying to get another internship to fill my time!
Before the day even started, I couldn't wait for it to be over. I haven't mentioned (read: purposely avoided) the fact that I am the most clumsy person roaming this planet. Things that happen to me do not happen to anyone else...I know because I've asked.
At 8 AM this morning, I hopped in the shower, but because my tub is so old, the hot and cold knobs merely adjust the speed at which the water comes out, not the temperature. After turning the knobs all the way to high I realized I was going to create a man made lake in my bathroom if I didn't turn down the pressure. The only problem with that was the knobs were stuck and when I say stuck, I mean they weren't budging. I would've been fine to leave it until I was done showering, but the water was coming out so hard that it was creating a wind tunnel in the shower and my newly purchased shower curtains from Jack's 99 cent store were whipping and whirling around like a tornado was passing through my bathroom! After standing naked outside the shower now, using my 2nd or 3rd tool to help me, I was starting to think I'd have to leave the shower running all day. I finally got it. I should've known then that this was a sign for the day I had ahead of me.
I got to work 10 minutes early, just like they taught me at school. The only problem is, normal rules do not apply in the music industry, and I ended up sitting on a couch for over half an hour waiting. Finally I met who I'd be working for in the marketing department and after talking to me, he realized that the product they were marketing was something I had no interest in, so they moved me over to music publishing.
This was great until I thought for a moment and remembered that I hate publishing. Not only do I hate it, but I know nothing about it because when I learned about it in school, I didn't pay attention because I told myself it was something I wouldn't be caught dead doing. But there I was, schmoozing with the publishing assistant, lying through my dolphin teeth (I have exceptionally small teeth, btw) that I was just rusty on my publishing basics. After learning the phones, he sent me back to my place to get my computer so that I could actually do work. The next 5 hours consisted of me checking my phone every 20 minutes to see if it was time to go home yet. And pointless trips to the bathroom whenever I felt that my eyes would no longer stay open.
It was the longest, boring-est, painful-est day of my life.
I usually hate all my jobs when I first start them, but this one is definitely at the top of my list.
This place is a dump. The hallways are painted yellow with brown carpet, and it reeks of stale soup. When I got to my room, there were scuff marks all over the floor, the stink had rust stains in it, you could see the soap scum in the bathroom, the blinds were broken, and the door to the bathroom doesn't even close all the way. I call this place a prison cell. After decorating the room all weekend, it does look more homey, but then I remember where I am when I have to go to the bathroom with the door open. If I could just stay in my room and not have to get out of this place every morning by walking down these disgusting hallways, I'd be happy. Some of you thinking about interning in New York have probably read something about Educational Housing Services, Inc. I want to keep my anonymity on this blog, but I have to put this place on blast. If you can help it...don't move here. Its overpriced for what you get, and I won't even mention their absurd guest policy. An example: when they say all rooms are air conditioned, they forget to mention that its a window unit circa 1975.
Enough negativity--tomorrow if my first day of my internship and not since my first one have I been so nervous. I'm not sure why I'm so jittery tonight. Maybe its because I applied to this place randomly online, maybe its because they hired me on the spot without introducing me to who I'd be working for, but then again it could be because I don't have the slightest idea what I'm going to be doing. I have a few hours to kill before its late enough to go to sleep and I think I'll try on every article of clothing I own until I find something to wear tomorrow. Wish me luck, I'll need it.
In exactly one week, I will be living in my new place in New York, nervously picking out an outfit that says, "smart but cool" for my first day of work. But until then, I have to finish my last few days of the pathetic summer job I'm working, and pack up all my stuff. So tonight, I'm starting to pack some stuff in preparation for my move to New York.
I've moved every 6 months between school and interning for the last four years...thats a lot of loading and unloading (I guess you could call me an expert)! I always pack way too much stuff, but I've realized that the more comforting things you have from home, the easier it is to adjust to a new environment...even if that means lugging around something you refer to as "baby pillow." Its also a good idea to buy things like paper towels, food, or toilet paper once you get to where you're going instead of having it take up space in the car (I own boxes and boxes of sneakers, I need all the space I can get!). I usually make a list of these types of things so that I only have to make this shopping trip once. Instead of stressing out and packing everything a day or two before, pack the things you won't need to use until you get there a few days in advance.
With a week to go, I already have a pile of suitcases packed and ready for my adventure in New York.
I could fill a book with the experiences I had on my first internship, and it only lasted for 3 months. And because I want to share what I learned on my past internships before I start my new one, here are some of the things I learned that I still carry with me. I also carry with me the craziest stories you've never heard.
Lesson #1: Expect the unexpected
I learned this on my first day. I was living at home and commuting to New York, so I needed to take the train into the city every day. My first day, I miscalculated how long this process would take, and I missed the train. So I called my boss and left a message. I was almost an hour late, and when I got there, there were a lot of people bustling around and looking very frantic. They told me to sit down, so I did. About twenty minutes later, they told me to go home. I wanted to cry right there in the office, lay down and throw a temper tantrum and tell them I'm not usually late and I'm sorry but please don't send me home. Plus, the train cost $20 and I wasn't getting paid for this! But I went home, sadly. The next time I went back, I was told that my boss had been fired (and by told, I mean I eavesdropped). The VP had to take charge of me and had no clue what to do with me, so he just threw me on the phones, even though I had never used one of those fancy business phones in my life. You really have to roll with the punches in this industry because nothing ever plays out how it is supposed to.
Lesson #2: Create your own opportunities
Because my boss had been fired, no one had any idea what to do with me. There were plenty of other interns, and no one knew what my skills were. So I had to make them see what I was capable of. When I was asked to do something, I did it quickly and correctly to show them I was a fast learner. When there was nothing to do, I found something to do--like organize the promotions closet, clean the assistant's desk, update lists of DJs with current information, anything I could think of. This showed my bosses that not only could I do the work they needed me to do, but that I used every chance I got to make their company better.
Lesson #3: You're going to have to do things you don't want to do
My original plan was to live in New York and work in New York. But I couldn't find a place to live, so I packed up my things from college and moved back into my mother's house. Every other day, I woke up earlier than I wanted to and took the train into Manhattan. And on those days that I wasn't interning, I worked a part time office job from 9 to 5 so that I could have some money. There were nights that I didn't get home from interning until past midnight, and then had to wake up at 8 the next morning to get ready for my part time job at home. There was very little time to hang out with my friends, but I did it because the rewards will exceed the grind time you put in. As an intern, there were errands that I had to run that were for the most ridiculous things--buy the president underwear, go to a hotel to burn a CD for the boss' friend, find a car charger for a phone that is no longer manufactured, deposit this check into someone's bank account, buy the boss new jeans and cologne, deliver a Rolex watch to the president at his other office, the list goes on and on. These were things I hated doing but the more valuable I made myself IN the office, the less they sent me out for things, and the jobs they gave me to do were more interesting.
Lesson #4: Work as though every assignment is a test of your abilities
Like I said, there will be things you have to do as an intern that sound completely ridiculous (i.e.: make 5,000 copies of this promo item, and then drop it in the street), but you never know who is watching you. When I had to iron the president's clothes for a big event that night, I ironed them like I was raised all my life to iron clothing. I was pissed that I had to do it (because I could totally tell these clothes had been worn some night before and were still dirty) but afterwards, he came into the office and talked to me more than he ever had.
Lesson #5: Recognize that there is always someone willing to take your spot
This is easy enough to understand. There were times where all I wanted to do was stay in my bed all day (I don't care who you are, I love sleep more than you do), but I never missed a day of work. More often than not, I wanted to leave work at 5 like normal people do, but I usually didn't get out of there until 8 or 9. I knew that when I left, whatever time that was, there would still be three interns there who didn't have to take a 1 1/2 to 2 hour train ride home who could stay later than I could. I hated getting the 9:30 to the 10:00 train, but I didn't want anyone taking my spot as "super intern" either.
Every day you intern there is at least one lesson to be learned, if not more. You just have to recognize them and put them into action.
The internship process at my school started in the middle of my sophomore year. I took a class on the process I would have to go through to get hired and how to be a good intern (this is the type of class I like to call, "everyone gets an A"). The school makes it easy enough for us to get hired--we go through their database, check off which companies we would like to work for, and then an advisor sends our resume out to these companies and tells them how great we are.
As is everything in my life, my experience was not so easy.
Resumes got sent out on spring break giving us more than enough time to find a job before the school's universal start date of July 1, and most of my classmates were hired by the end of May or the beginning of June. I got my first interview in May and purposely said everything you are not supposed to say because I didn't want the job--DON'T DO THIS!! No one called me for an interview for months; the industry is smaller than you think! Only take the job that means something to you, but don't waste you interviewer's time either.
Everyone always told me not to underestimate the power of networking, and as much as I hated it, I knew they were right. I am pretty quiet and the only way you can get me to talk to a bunch of strangers is to tell me that I can't do as many shots as you, and then hand me a bottle of Corona to wash them down with. Networking is definitely not my thing and I knew I was screwed when people started telling me the only way I could get an internship was if I started networking. This doesn't mean going to some chic party and striking up a conversation with the guy in the suit, but very simply talking to your friends or acquaintances. And here is where I like to insert the random story of how I got my first internship:
I had a friend who was older than I was and we only talked on the Internet but we'd never met (don't worry, it stops being creepy here). A few times a year we would check in with each other and say hello and one day I was telling him about what a hard time I was having getting an internship and he said, "Actually, I know the president of *insert record label here* and if you want, I can give him a call and set you up with an interview." It was that easy, folks. He made a call, gave me a phone number and next thing I knew, I was on the Metro North into Manhattan for the most nerve wracking interview of my life.
I struggled for months trying to get an internship--I called my advisor weekly, applied to tons and tons of places online, and sent my resume to various record labels in Manhattan, but all I really had to do was open my mouth and start networking with the people that I already knew.
..."The Intern."
For the last three years, thats exactly what I've been doing--interning my ass off. I've had four internships, and will soon be starting my final one before I graduate college and move on to the big world of working for a paycheck. When I started out, I knew absolutely nothing about the inner workings of the Music/Entertainment industry I was trying to work for, but more importantly, I didn't know how to be an intern at all. My job experiences included working as a camp counselor and getting paid to sit on a couch at my school's radio station. I'm writing this blog while I complete this last internship in New York for anyone who, like me, needs some guidance or at least some idea of what to expect. Three years later, and I'm still learning new things. But how did I get to the point in my life where it was time to intern?
I was raised in New England, but never lived the typical New England lifestyle. I am not a big maple syrup fan, my parents never parked a Jeep in our driveway, and we never vacationed in Cape Cod. My parents worked hard and long hours to give my sister and I a fair chance at life, and when I was very young, I hated that my mom worked so much. I never had a cool lunch box with a matching Thermos, my lunch box was a blue bag with my father's company logo written across the top, and there was never a note from my mom inside--one time I even wrote myself a note in my very best "mom" handwriting just to fit in with the other kids. But as I grew older, my parents instilled in me the value of dreaming big and pursuing that dream, and I've always kept that close to my heart. They taught me that just because I was a girl, it didn't mean that I had to sacrifice my goals so that I could learn how to sew, cook, and raise a family--and my mother was living proof of that.
I always remember being hopelessly in love with music. I remember being 6 and sneaking into my older sister's room to listen to Biggie, Tupac, Snoop, Boyz II Men, All 4 One, and Salt N Peppa. I felt safe enveloped in the sweet sounds of that music. In middle school, I attempted to master every instrument I could get my hands on: viola, clarient, viola again, the guitar and the piano, and then voice lessons. I even made a valiant effort to make the recorder seem like a serious instrument, but nothing came naturally to me and I realized I had to give up the music thing and chalk it up as just a hobby.
I thought about being an artist, a teacher, a lawyer, an architect, an interior designer, a psychiatrist (that lasted about a week), and finally just someone who worked in "business," but none of them satisfied me. It came time to start picking colleges, and I went back to the simplicity of my childhood and decided that I would pursue my dream. I declared a music business major and although my parents supported me, a lot of people in my life told me it was going to be a waste of 4 years of my life. It was hard enough getting to that point, and I had no idea what lay ahead of me. I tell this story to say this: not every dream is realized by taking a direct path. Sometimes you have to try on some other things in order to figure out what's right for you. And as good as the dream feels, no one ever said the road to it was a smooth one.
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