Intern Chick

As an intern, the question I get asked most is, "So, what are you trying to do?" This usually means, what is my ultimate goal in the music industry, and a lot of times I think people ask this just to find out if you're trying to take their spot. Other times, I think people ask this question so they can tell me to run, and run fast, before the industry turns me into a big hairy scary monster like all the other executives (okay, not all, but most).

It used to be really easy for me. I had everything I wanted to do mapped out, and when I wanted to accomplish it by. It wasn't even like I was setting deadlines because I didn't think I'd need to, I just had this inner feeling that I'd go hard and go far, quickly. But after interning for three years, I'm kind of stuck...almost like I'm stuck on the side of the road with a flat tire. I have all the tools to keep going, but I don't know how to change the old tire and put a new one on.

I used to want to intern so bad, I'd do anything for it. After I interned, my next goal was to graduate college, get a job not being someone's assistant, and by the time I was 30, be the big shot executive. Obviously it was more detailed than that, but those were the main points and stops on my road to pure record industry glory. Oh yea, and then from age 30 onward, I wanted to give urban music a new face, revamp it into what it once was, but better. Unfortunately since then, I've learned a thing or two about this business, and it isn't all that easy.

A lot of times, I feel like I'm too old to be interning again. The other interns at my other jobs are 19 and have never interned anywhere else before, and its exciting for them. It used to be exciting for me too. I kind of feel like all a kid left behind in pre school when all my friends got to move on to kindergarten. At this age, I should be working already, but thats something I can't change so I try not to dwell on it, though it pops into my mind often enough. But then I think about next year, when I do graduate, what am I going to do then? Not everyone ends up taking this particular path, but the one that is most often traveled is intern, then assistant to an executive (for a very long time, and most people, I have yet to see them get past this phase) and then eventually, if ever, the executive. Even that isn't as cut and dry as I make it sound because every year the record industry lays off hundreds of people in an attempt to stay afloat in a drowning sea of file sharing, mp3's, and millions of dollars lost. So not only do you end up starting out working like crazy for free, but then you work as someone's assistant for years, only to get laid off unexpectedly right before Christmas. Some payback that is. And those I do know who have gotten laid off never saw it coming, so how do you even cover your ass in an environment like that?

Is this really what I'm trying to do??

To be continued...