Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Every Tuesday, I have a 100 minute senior seminar class where we talk about, hmm, pretty much nothing. Sometimes I take something valuable away, like last week's lecture but most of the time, I end up BBM-ing my friend next to me. Today we talked about our plans for after graduation.
Everyone in this class has completed a 5 year program in Music Business at over $40,000 a year. Obviously, it wouldn't be wise to shell out this kind of money for something you would a) never use and b) never make a return on that investment. So what do you think my classmates are planning on doing after graduation? Well, the responses were anywhere from "a regular old 9-5" to "I don't know, probably some landscaping." I'm not here to judge anybody and if that's what is going to make these people happy than they should go after that. But why spend 5 years studying the music business? Then someone said that they had to accept reality that it is too hard to work in the industry, and this is when I got annoyed.
Yes, its hard, but getting out of bed in the morning is hard for me, should I not do that anymore? Freshman year, I sat in the same classroom with these same people, in a class called "Intro to College" and all of us said our goals were to get jobs in the business after graduation.
Its really easy to lose your drive, or to think what you want to do is too hard and give up. When I was in high school, I used to loathe telling people what I wanted to be when I grew up because they would snicker and say, "Yea...that sounds cool but what are you really going to do?" Now I just tell them to wait and see.
My point here is, don't lose sight of your dreams. Don't be afraid to go after it just because it won't be easy...do you think we would have just watched President Obama's addressing Congress tonight if he gave into the fact that his dream was going to be a hard one to achieve?
So I'll leave you with this, one of my favorite quotes:
"Don't ever let somebody tell you you can't do something. You got a dream...you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves; they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want something, go get it. Period." - Pursuit of Happyness
"Don't ever let somebody tell you you can't do something. You got a dream...you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves; they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want something, go get it. Period." - Pursuit of Happyness
Something's in the air, and no its not Cupid-pixie-dust-residue. It seems everyone is extremely worried about where they're headed in life. I've had my share of hysterical late night phone calls to my mother about where I'm going. But when my professor felt the need to spend half of today's lecture discussing it, I realized just about everyone in my class is worried. Maybe it's because of the instability of the music industry, or the instability of the economy all together, but it seems everyone is struggling with this.
The professor talked, for a very long time, about how he came to be a professor of the music business. Turns out he started out as a high school band director, went to grad school, then had his own, very successful, recording studio, ended up filling in for a professor at my college and was hired, all the while performing as a professional musician. 20 years later, he's still here, but the interesting thing was that he said he truly enjoys teaching and it wasn't until his 40's that he started.
Forty. Years. Old. Can you imagine?
He assured us we will try on many things before finding the perfect size in the music industry and most importantly, he told us that this was O.K. Personally, I can't imagine doing anything different than what I'm setting out to do, but what I really took away from this lecture is that it's okay if you don't know what to do or how to get there. Sometimes, all the little things you're doing don't add up in your big picture, and its hard to see how an economics class, or organizing your boss' filing cabinet matters at all. But eventually, each tiny piece of the puzzle connects and you've finally achieved your masterpiece. It's not going to be easy, its not supposed to be. If it were, everyone would be doing it! It's a constant struggle to not only achieve your goal, but to silence the voices in your head telling you that it's impossible.
So maybe you don't know exactly where you'll end up, how you'll get there, or how long your stay will be. Its more important that you know it's okay if you don't; eventually we'll all come out on the other side better than we were.
Guest Intern is a post written on Intern Chick once a month featuring a different intern sharing their experiences. This month's Guest Intern is Jillian, an intern in the pharmaceuticals industry.
If you have questions about Jillian's experience, you can e-mail internchick.guest@gmail.com or leave a comment on the blog.
I'm a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason." Even when the
most horrible awful things happen, you can still learn from them and
take away some sort of wisdom. I took that mentality in getting my
first and second internships and looking back, it worked out pretty
well.
My freshman year, representatives from a well known pharmaceutical
company came to give an overview to my chemistry class of what chemists
in the pharmaceutical industry actually do day-to-day. I was star
struck even though I had never before given any thought to making
pharmaceuticals. They gave us little first aid kits with the company's
logo to thank us for coming to their talks. I carried mine around with
me for months before displaying it on my dresser at home as a reminder
to work harder than everyone else so that I could maybe work for that
company some day. When I was neck deep in work, staying in on Saturday
nights and missing fun events to write ten page lab reports, it was
hard to not give up, cop out and go have fun. Having that little
reminder to work extra hard for something I really wanted was sometimes
all the push I needed to give that extra ten percent.
I took my first internship honestly because it was the first good
interview I had. Previous interviews were train wrecks of me sputtering
and studdering over my lack of experience and uncertainty of what I
wanted for a career. Hours after my interview, I was offered a position
in the research and development group making can sealant compounds.
Although it seemed like a job so far from anything I would want to do,
I jumped at the chance to accept a job out of fear of not finding
another. Days later I had calls from other, more reputable companies
inviting me to interview which I had to politely decline. After I
finished my first internship, I felt that I had learned not much more
than how to fill out my time sheet and make a tasty cup of coffee, and
that the position would not help advance my career at all. Although I
had a fun six months where worked with awesome people and was rarely
without some work to do, I seriously regretted taking that internship
so quickly.
When it came time to find my second internship, I promised myself to
not settle. I was picky about where I applied to, and accepted
interviews with. As time was running out and all my friends were
accepting positions, it was nerve racking. I wanted to just settle and
work at yet another internship I wasn't entirely in to when I got a
call from my first aid kit dream company to interview. I interviewed
for two separate jobs and was nervous beyond belief for both of them. I
wore a blue shirt (so not my favorite) because I read somewhere that it
made you look more professional, I was shaking probably the whole time
and concentrating so much on the proper place to put my hands or way to
sit in my chair, that I can't even tell you what my interviewers were
talking about. I thought I did a miserable job, but maybe enough to get
by so I was blown away when I received a job offer. Although I thought
it was not the job I that was a good fit for me and there were stronger
candidates, I figured whatever, it's the best internship I could have
imagined! I was on cloud nine and celebrated for about three hours.
Then I got a call from HR to knock me back down to earth. They
basically said, we made a mistake, we meant to hire someone else, very
sorry. I was destroyed. It felt like someone ripped my dreams out of my
hands and I couldn't believe it. Shell shocked, it was hard to stick to
my mantra that there was a reason this would happen to me. However, a
couple days later I received a call to come interview for a third
position at the same company. I almost didn't want to even bother, I
was still a little bitter, but luckily I have great friends that talked
me into going in for the third interview. I was only up against one
other candidate, so that made me feel better about my chances. I went
into my final interview more relaxed, wearing my favorite pink shirt,
listening to the interviewers instead of fidgeting and freaking out.
Oddly enough, having the first job offer taken back gave me a weird
confidence. I ended up getting the internship mainly because it
involved a lot of the work I did at the first internship, what are the
chances? I thought that experience would never come in handy but it
turned out a small part of what I did there is what I now focus on at
my second internship. So that six months of goofing around in a lab
that I though would be no help to my resume was actually the boost to
put me miles ahead of the competition, I guess you never can know.
So after two completed internships, as lame as it is, I really
completely believe now more than ever that everything happens for a
reason and that if you work your butt off you can really do anything
you want. Now I see that little first aid kit on my dresser at home and
think about how when I received it I thought it would be the hardest
thing in the world to get an internship at that company. Although I
went a little bit of a round about way, I ended up making that small
dream come true. Now it's on to the big time.
My boss knows about my intern-view set for tomorrow and he's been very supportive. As much as I think he could be a better BOSS, he's a nice guy and his intentions are good (like when I called out because I had cramps, and he said he "understood"). So around 6:00 we started talking about interview and if I was ready.
The conversation steered towards my ever out of reach girl to be the big A&R chick. He offered his views on the situation, saying A&R positions were sort of fading out, and its the type of thing you do in addition to something else. I totally get where he's coming from, have heard it before, and have thought about it myself. He showed me a long list of people that are A&Ring some projects and pointed out that although they're doing that, their titles are things like Manager or CEO.
He went into music-industry-nerd details that I ate up with a spoon but won't divulge here, and I asked more questions. I explained what it is about A&R that appeals to me so much which is this: I love the idea of developing an artist from scratch. I love taking that artist and guiding them, creating a niche for them within the genre, picking out songs that I feel best showcase their talents, developing their personalities into an image, pushing that artist during recording sessions to the point where they hate me, and then walking away with an amazing record. Vin looked at me and said that sounded like management.
The funny thing is, people have been telling me to be a manager for YEARS. I HATE the entire idea, and I told him that. He said he was surprised to hear that, I'm not really sure why (does something about me scream manager?). I think I'd be a horrible manager...for one thing, I can be pretty selfish and no one gets in the way of my sleep, so that means if I had an artist who was stuck in Alaska (with Ms. Sarah Palin!) at 2 AM, that artist can hang out until I roll out of bed the next morning.
The conversation neared an end and I said something along the lines of, "I really need to figure out what else I want to do because A&R looks like its becoming a dual role. I just have to come to terms with that" And Vin said this, something that sounded insignificant at the time, but that I will probably carry with me forever.
He said: "People can pick up on negative vibes, and if you've given up inside, but are still looking outwardly, people will still be able to tell your heart's not in it. Don't let anything stand in the way of your dream, no matter how crazy or how hard it is, you'll get there"
And so, onward I go.
You know how dogs can smell fear (dogs can probably smell my fear from 500 miles away because I am Terrified of them with a capital T). I think that bosses can smell dissatisfaction and contempt.
I'm so totally over final-internship-before-you-graduate internship. Yesterday I was inches from tapping Vin on the shoulder and telling him that I can't do this anymore and I'm GONE, content with living out my days hiding under the covers from my mother and father. It took every bit of me not to do it, my body was at my desk, but my mind was at a new internship, giggling over coffee with my new boss and intern friends.
Needless to say, attending work this morning was not the easiest thing to do, I had to pretend I was 6 years old again and my dad was standing over my bed with a SuperSoaker water gun to get me up and go to school. My first task of the day (after having it pointed out that Vin and I wore the same color shirt today) was to listen to three demos and see what I thought....trash, trash, and more trash. Next? Midday, while counting how many days I have left of this internship, Vin asked me this:
Vin: So, what do you want to be doing??
Me: What??? (Is it bad if I tell him I'd like to run out of this office like a bat out of hell and never return?)
Vin: You know, like, what do you want to learn here? I want you to get the most out of this internship so, what do you think?
Me: Umm...well obviously, I'd like to be dealing more with music because that is why I'm here
Vin: Like what?
Me: (OMGz, does everything have to be this hard?) Well, I don't even know what a publishing intern is supposed to be doing! So, if the description has music in it, I will do it.
Vin: Okay so right now I have a list of artists that are looking for tracks, so would you want to listen to some of the stuff our producers and songwriters are working on and match what artists you think would sound good on certain songs?
Me: (DUH!!!) Yea, sure...I mean, that sounds great!
Vin: Okay so you can do that, and then pass them to me and I'll look it over and we'll send it out to the Big Boss and the artists
Maybe bosses can smell potential, too.
Last night I dreamt about my grandmother. I never get to talk to her in my dreams, or touch her, or hear her voice. I only see her, and its always as if she is blissfully unaware of her presence in my psyche. I dream about her fairly often and I always awake from these dreams feeling sick with the remembrance that she is no longer physically here with me. I feel that I got into college solely on the essay I wrote about her (particularly since my SAT scores were sub-par), in which I recounted my life long comparison of her to a butterfly. I thought of her this way because late in her life, she decided to take her fate into her own hands and really started living. She did what she wanted to, and filled her calendar with new and exciting things.
My grandmother was one of my biggest critics when it came to my career choice. It wasn't that she didn't respect music or the arts in general, she was a great music lover and an outstanding artist. I'm not sure what it was. I'm left only with the idea that she may have though I wasn't serious about this, or that maybe the passion wasn't there. As my time in college went by, I think she started to see that my whole heart was in this. I remember visiting her one day, and there was a record player in her living room, just for me. I think that was when she understood I was serious. I even sat in that same living room with her later that year, and talked for a good hour or two about Hip-Hop, why I love and hate it, and why I don't see myself doing anything else. She seemed so delighted to have this conversation with me, and she quickly became my number one fan. She too, worked in New York City a very long time ago, at a radio station, and I loved hearing her tell this story. She adored this place, and I think was most happy that I did too.
Most of the time, when I was struggling on the road into the music industry, she was always in my mind. I wanted to give up plenty of times, but I couldn't let my biggest-critic-turned-biggest-fan see me falter. She was so excited about what I was doing and what lay ahead of me; she kept me motivated more than she could have ever known. I stayed on track because I wanted her to keep rooting for me, and to no longer question my passion. And as my dissatisfaction with my internship becomes increasingly more difficult to ignore, I need her cheering for me now more than ever.
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