So I've been busy playing the game for the past few weeks. A couple clutch plays here and there, an ankle-breaker every so often, maybe a few timeouts. But when Thanksgiving was fast approaching, I realized this game had been over for quite some time. Now I was in overtime. Sudden death. I needed to get off the court and back in the locker room, this game was starting to mess with my skills.
I thought and thought about this for quite some time. I had to get out of this job, because I was picturing myself just floating along, waiting for something to fall in my lap. That's not how I play. Do I take that leap into the sea of the unemployed, or do I stay, quietly collecting my $100/week stipend that doesn't even cover groceries? I was starting to realize that I was setting my worth at that $100--if I believe that's how much I'm worth, that's what everyone else will believe, too.
I'm worth more. So I quit.
I quit the day before Thanksgiving and I was at peace with my decision. I believe that everything you do in your life should not only teach you something, but it should serve some type of purpose. Even this job served a purpose. It made me remember how much I truly love music and the industry. Most of the times I've been working have been in the music industry, and sometimes, you just don't know what you have until it's gone. My love has been reinstated. I guess you could call that the game winning play at the buzzer.
Everyone calls the entertainment industry "the game." Well, if this is a game, then I'm going to play it and I'm going to play it well.
I've been noticing at work that despite my best efforts to remain under the radar and keep my head down without anyone raving about what great work I've done, I've been given a lot more responsibility than the other interns who have been there much longer than me. At first, they made me an administrator on one of their seasonal websites so that I could answer customer inquiries. That was fine with me, it's one website that's only popular during that particular holiday.
Then, they made me administrator of another seasonal website. Okay...I can dig it, still not an extremely important thing in the grand scheme of things here.
Monday, they gave me access to one of the shared drivers on the network that interns are absolutely prohibited from. Not only did they give me access to this drive, but they had me refunding costumers for tickets to events they'd purchased. The company doesn't like to give refunds so they told me that it was at my discretion if I thought they should be refunded or not.
Now these people's money is in my hands??
Yesterday, they made me administrator, again, for what is probably their biggest ticketing website, if not their second biggest. I left work knowing I had to make some plays here before they gave me some type of Rookie of the Year award.
I woke up this morning feeling groggy as usual. And like every morning, my argument with myself over if I should quit or not had me running behind schedule. This morning though, I saw my chance for an All-Star play. I went on my laptop, wrote a quick note to my boss to let him know I would not be in until 1 PM today because I had a last minute interview I had to go to.
Now, under normal circumstances, I would never let my superior know I was actively searching for work, (nor would I tell a lie!!) but this is how I've decided to play the game. Call it a foul on the play if you'd like, hit me with an unsportsmanlike conduct if you have to. I don't want this team making room for me on their roster. I cuddled back into my dangerously comfortable bed, and slept with a smirk on my face until 12 PM. The streets of Manhattan were good to me for those extra hours, completely quiet and calm.
I strolled into work at 1 PM, still smiling and had the usual pleasantries with my boss. He asked how my interview went and I could tell by the look on his face that he was happy when I said it was just okay but I wasn't very confident in it. I went over to my desk where my other boss told me another intern would now be splitting up my work with me.
3 Point Play for the Intern Chick. This is what I wanted. Make room for someone that wants it, I'd rather be the free agent, pen in hand waiting to sign with someone else.
My new job, and subsequently what my life has become, is as if someone took notes on everything I hate and rolled it into one big monster. It's a nightmare. Every day.
I won't complain about what I consider to be early hours, because I know it's just me that finds waking up at 8:30 AM to be unbearable.
My desk at work is in one huge cubicle where the dividers have been taken down in order to fit 4 people. I am part of the 4 people, along with 3 other females who I'm not sure what they do. One can't speak English very well. The other prints out tickets all day and the noise of the ticket machine would be enough to drive you crazy if it wasn't for the 3rd girl. I think she is my boss. No one told me what department they moved me to, and I've figured that out on my own, so no one told me who I report to. I think this girl is it. She listens to Techno and House music all day, and when its not that, its slow whiny alternative music that makes you want to cut open a vein. The first few days I was falling asleep at my desk from the music, and figured out by the looks I was receiving that these people don't think its okay to listen to your iPod all day while you work. They do at record labels, that's all I'm saying.
If her music isn't bad enough, she snorts all day. At first I thought it was because she was sick, and I was really hoping this was the reason. I don't think it is. I think she just enjoys it. She comes to work in her gym clothes, works out on her lunch break, and comes back, in the same gym clothes, for the rest of the day. Why am I the only one that doesn't think this is okay??
The best part about this whole thing is the work they have me doing. Customer. Service. Call me crazy, but I always thought the whole role of customer service representatives was foolish. I don't understand why people can't just figure things out for themselves. You type one word in google and a million things pop up, surely the answer to whatever ridiculous question you may have can be found there. Working in customer service is one of those things I've always seen as the type of job you get when you don't finish college and don't know the different between "then" and "than." And now I'm doing it. And they expect me to be nice when these people ask their outrageous questions that are clearly posted on the website. The day they put me on the phones, I am going to cry.
Today was my first day at what better be my very very last internship (for real this time).
I came in and was given an overview of the company priorities and then shadowed one of the employees for a few hours. I had only sat at my new cube for 5 minutes before I was already answering the main line for the office, fielding calls and answering questions the best I could. I found this to be much less nerve wracking when regular people are calling instead of executives I've idolized since I was 9.
Then I worked on a spreadsheet for the rest of the day, filling in the blanks and posting the company priorities on the internet.
Maybe I was happy to join the rest of the living this morning, but there was one thought I couldn't chase out of my head all day. I went from working in the music industry to now just being one of the thousands of people who want to work in music and don't.
I feel like I just walked blindly into mediocrity.
Labels: first day, last internship
Not too long after I posted that blog last Thursday, I applied for just one more job. I've been battling with this "to intern or not intern because I'm not an intern anymore" dilemma. I applied for one last internship. The description said they needed someone to do data entry fast. I'm your girl.
3 hours later, they called asking me to come in for an interview. I said I'd come in the next day, and less than 24 hours later, found myself waiting for the elevator in their office building. The receptionist was nice and brought me into the conference room to meet with the director of sales. The guy had never even seen my resume. I handed him a copy, he sat down with a half smile on his face, circled a couple of things and looked up at me.
He asked me about one of my past internships (3 of 8). "What made you so important there?" "Why were you 'head intern'?" "Why did you have all these responsibilities and no one else did?" I used the fact that he thought/knew I was some kind of gem to my full advantage. He said the job involved 3 parts--2 of which I love, marketing & writing. I kind of felt like I was selling myself short, taking an internship when I have mounting student loans to pay off. I found out during the interview that everyone that works at the company starts out this way, and they pay a weekly stipend. Nothing crazy, but enough to buy groceries. I told him it was definitely something I was interested in it. All he said was, "Okay. See you Monday then, come casual." and walked out of the conference room.
I walked out of that building feeling elated. And as I walked the many blocks home from the subway with the rain beating down on me I felt, for the first time, that I am going to be okay.
Labels: internship, interview, new
I'm angry.Get this: According to a survey from National Association of Colleges and Employers, the class of 2009 is leaving campus with fewer jobs in hand than their 2008 counterparts. The group's 2009 Student Survey found that just 19.7 percent of 2009 graduates who applied for a job actually have one. In comparison, 51 percent of those graduating in 2007 and 26 percent of those graduating in 2008 who had applied for a job had one in hand by the time of graduation.
Here's another one. A job listing for Sony yielded FIVE THOUSAND resumes. FIVE thousand.
And this. Almost 2 million college graduates are unemployed and a recent survey by the National Association of Colleges and Employers predicts companies will hire 22 percent fewer graduating seniors than they did last year.
I was feeling humble this morning so I googled things like what a recent college graduate should do to increase their chances in the job market. Guess what? I've done it all. Intern, network, high GPA, go to your school's career center, rewrite your resume. Let's get real, this is all a bunch of crap some guy sitting comfortably at his job is feeding you because maybe that's how he got his job (you know, before the recession).
I interned for 8 different jobs. I network. I graduated from a top 100 university with honors. I went to the career center while I was still in school. I've revised and rewritten my resume. And it's gotten me nowhere. In the 6 months since graduating, I've had two interviews. I've probably applied for somewhere between 50 and 100 jobs. And all I hear out of anybody's mouth is "You'll be fine. You interned." No I won't, because I'm still sitting here unemployed, aren't I? If I don't hear that, I hear, "The music industry is a tough place to break into. Maybe you're setting your sights too high. Why don't you work for a non-profit? They take all the help they can get."
Well excuse me for having a dream while the rest of the world wants me to put my head down and work a job doing menial tasks for the next 10 years. Maybe I just should.
You know those people that have "favorite quotes" coming out their ears (and maybe their mouths)? While I'm not one of those people, I somehow started this Memo in my Blackberry where I add in any quotes I've come across while going about my everyday life that mean something to me. I didn't think I really cared about it until one day I accidentally deleted it and was extremely upset. They aren't your typical quotes that you copy down from some painfully corny website with whiny Muzak playing in the background. I take them from magazine articles or interviews, books (fiction and non), a few from songs, and some just from regular conversation. I have nothing else to write about, so I'll let these speak for me--and you can quote me on that... Which one is your favorite?
1. If people aren't laughing at your dreams, you aren't dreaming big enough.
2. Luck is what you have left over after you give 100%
3. Contemplate compatibility before commitment.
4. As long as the music has the true to the heart soul, it can be Hip-Hop. As long as it has soul to it, Hip-Hop can live on. - Tupac Shakur (from a rare interview)
5. In the end, I've found that flying solo is difficult but not impossible -Victor Manuelle (interview with Billboard Magazine)
6. 'Stressed' spelled backwards is 'desserts'. (who's with me on this one??)
7. Never work for money, make money work for you.
8. Without resistance, there is no growth. Without growth there are no good and bad moments. Without good and bad moments, there are no special moments or lessons learned.
9. If crime doesn't pay, does that mean my job is a crime? (This should be the motto for every intern, and its probably true)
10. The higher your goals are and the bigger you dream, the smaller your competition becomes. - J. Cole (first artist signed to Roc Nation)
11. When you know you're going to make it; when you know you're destined for something and you believe in yourself, you have to keep telling yourself its coming or else you'll start to doubt it. - J. Cole (from an interview)
12. Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it, and live the phrase "sky's the limit." - Notorious B.I.G. (from the song "Sky's the Limit" feat. 112)
13. Envy can be a positive motivator. Let it inspire you to work harder for what you want.
14. 90% is your business, 10% is your talent.
15. There's no association of people wanting to see others do well in this space. They think that if someone else is doing well, they must not be. They're stealing their ability to do well, and to me, that is sad. - Lyor Cohen (on the state of the music industry in an interview with The Source magazine)
16. You have to love what you do to really make things happen. - P. Green
17. Specialness, excitement, and emotion are what resonate. - Ralph Lauren (as quoted in Vogue magazine)
18. Stay up. Be aware. Be innovative. Let's keep making this shit interesting. - Jay-Z (from an interview with XXL Magazine)
19. One reason you work hard to be the best is so the people you're up against see right away you are. You make 'em believe they can't beat you, and they can't. - Tabitha King (from her book "One on One")
20. On Earth, our dear ones do live on through those of us to whom they were so very precious. (A personal favorite of mine)
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