My new job, and subsequently what my life has become, is as if someone took notes on everything I hate and rolled it into one big monster. It's a nightmare. Every day.
I won't complain about what I consider to be early hours, because I know it's just me that finds waking up at 8:30 AM to be unbearable.
My desk at work is in one huge cubicle where the dividers have been taken down in order to fit 4 people. I am part of the 4 people, along with 3 other females who I'm not sure what they do. One can't speak English very well. The other prints out tickets all day and the noise of the ticket machine would be enough to drive you crazy if it wasn't for the 3rd girl. I think she is my boss. No one told me what department they moved me to, and I've figured that out on my own, so no one told me who I report to. I think this girl is it. She listens to Techno and House music all day, and when its not that, its slow whiny alternative music that makes you want to cut open a vein. The first few days I was falling asleep at my desk from the music, and figured out by the looks I was receiving that these people don't think its okay to listen to your iPod all day while you work. They do at record labels, that's all I'm saying.
If her music isn't bad enough, she snorts all day. At first I thought it was because she was sick, and I was really hoping this was the reason. I don't think it is. I think she just enjoys it. She comes to work in her gym clothes, works out on her lunch break, and comes back, in the same gym clothes, for the rest of the day. Why am I the only one that doesn't think this is okay??
The best part about this whole thing is the work they have me doing. Customer. Service. Call me crazy, but I always thought the whole role of customer service representatives was foolish. I don't understand why people can't just figure things out for themselves. You type one word in google and a million things pop up, surely the answer to whatever ridiculous question you may have can be found there. Working in customer service is one of those things I've always seen as the type of job you get when you don't finish college and don't know the different between "then" and "than." And now I'm doing it. And they expect me to be nice when these people ask their outrageous questions that are clearly posted on the website. The day they put me on the phones, I am going to cry.
Today was my first day at what better be my very very last internship (for real this time).
I came in and was given an overview of the company priorities and then shadowed one of the employees for a few hours. I had only sat at my new cube for 5 minutes before I was already answering the main line for the office, fielding calls and answering questions the best I could. I found this to be much less nerve wracking when regular people are calling instead of executives I've idolized since I was 9.
Then I worked on a spreadsheet for the rest of the day, filling in the blanks and posting the company priorities on the internet.
Maybe I was happy to join the rest of the living this morning, but there was one thought I couldn't chase out of my head all day. I went from working in the music industry to now just being one of the thousands of people who want to work in music and don't.
I feel like I just walked blindly into mediocrity.
Labels: first day, last internship
Not too long after I posted that blog last Thursday, I applied for just one more job. I've been battling with this "to intern or not intern because I'm not an intern anymore" dilemma. I applied for one last internship. The description said they needed someone to do data entry fast. I'm your girl.
3 hours later, they called asking me to come in for an interview. I said I'd come in the next day, and less than 24 hours later, found myself waiting for the elevator in their office building. The receptionist was nice and brought me into the conference room to meet with the director of sales. The guy had never even seen my resume. I handed him a copy, he sat down with a half smile on his face, circled a couple of things and looked up at me.
He asked me about one of my past internships (3 of 8). "What made you so important there?" "Why were you 'head intern'?" "Why did you have all these responsibilities and no one else did?" I used the fact that he thought/knew I was some kind of gem to my full advantage. He said the job involved 3 parts--2 of which I love, marketing & writing. I kind of felt like I was selling myself short, taking an internship when I have mounting student loans to pay off. I found out during the interview that everyone that works at the company starts out this way, and they pay a weekly stipend. Nothing crazy, but enough to buy groceries. I told him it was definitely something I was interested in it. All he said was, "Okay. See you Monday then, come casual." and walked out of the conference room.
I walked out of that building feeling elated. And as I walked the many blocks home from the subway with the rain beating down on me I felt, for the first time, that I am going to be okay.
Labels: internship, interview, new
I'm angry.Get this: According to a survey from National Association of Colleges and Employers, the class of 2009 is leaving campus with fewer jobs in hand than their 2008 counterparts. The group's 2009 Student Survey found that just 19.7 percent of 2009 graduates who applied for a job actually have one. In comparison, 51 percent of those graduating in 2007 and 26 percent of those graduating in 2008 who had applied for a job had one in hand by the time of graduation.
Here's another one. A job listing for Sony yielded FIVE THOUSAND resumes. FIVE thousand.
And this. Almost 2 million college graduates are unemployed and a recent survey by the National Association of Colleges and Employers predicts companies will hire 22 percent fewer graduating seniors than they did last year.
I was feeling humble this morning so I googled things like what a recent college graduate should do to increase their chances in the job market. Guess what? I've done it all. Intern, network, high GPA, go to your school's career center, rewrite your resume. Let's get real, this is all a bunch of crap some guy sitting comfortably at his job is feeding you because maybe that's how he got his job (you know, before the recession).
I interned for 8 different jobs. I network. I graduated from a top 100 university with honors. I went to the career center while I was still in school. I've revised and rewritten my resume. And it's gotten me nowhere. In the 6 months since graduating, I've had two interviews. I've probably applied for somewhere between 50 and 100 jobs. And all I hear out of anybody's mouth is "You'll be fine. You interned." No I won't, because I'm still sitting here unemployed, aren't I? If I don't hear that, I hear, "The music industry is a tough place to break into. Maybe you're setting your sights too high. Why don't you work for a non-profit? They take all the help they can get."
Well excuse me for having a dream while the rest of the world wants me to put my head down and work a job doing menial tasks for the next 10 years. Maybe I just should.
You know those people that have "favorite quotes" coming out their ears (and maybe their mouths)? While I'm not one of those people, I somehow started this Memo in my Blackberry where I add in any quotes I've come across while going about my everyday life that mean something to me. I didn't think I really cared about it until one day I accidentally deleted it and was extremely upset. They aren't your typical quotes that you copy down from some painfully corny website with whiny Muzak playing in the background. I take them from magazine articles or interviews, books (fiction and non), a few from songs, and some just from regular conversation. I have nothing else to write about, so I'll let these speak for me--and you can quote me on that... Which one is your favorite?
1. If people aren't laughing at your dreams, you aren't dreaming big enough.
2. Luck is what you have left over after you give 100%
3. Contemplate compatibility before commitment.
4. As long as the music has the true to the heart soul, it can be Hip-Hop. As long as it has soul to it, Hip-Hop can live on. - Tupac Shakur (from a rare interview)
5. In the end, I've found that flying solo is difficult but not impossible -Victor Manuelle (interview with Billboard Magazine)
6. 'Stressed' spelled backwards is 'desserts'. (who's with me on this one??)
7. Never work for money, make money work for you.
8. Without resistance, there is no growth. Without growth there are no good and bad moments. Without good and bad moments, there are no special moments or lessons learned.
9. If crime doesn't pay, does that mean my job is a crime? (This should be the motto for every intern, and its probably true)
10. The higher your goals are and the bigger you dream, the smaller your competition becomes. - J. Cole (first artist signed to Roc Nation)
11. When you know you're going to make it; when you know you're destined for something and you believe in yourself, you have to keep telling yourself its coming or else you'll start to doubt it. - J. Cole (from an interview)
12. Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it, and live the phrase "sky's the limit." - Notorious B.I.G. (from the song "Sky's the Limit" feat. 112)
13. Envy can be a positive motivator. Let it inspire you to work harder for what you want.
14. 90% is your business, 10% is your talent.
15. There's no association of people wanting to see others do well in this space. They think that if someone else is doing well, they must not be. They're stealing their ability to do well, and to me, that is sad. - Lyor Cohen (on the state of the music industry in an interview with The Source magazine)
16. You have to love what you do to really make things happen. - P. Green
17. Specialness, excitement, and emotion are what resonate. - Ralph Lauren (as quoted in Vogue magazine)
18. Stay up. Be aware. Be innovative. Let's keep making this shit interesting. - Jay-Z (from an interview with XXL Magazine)
19. One reason you work hard to be the best is so the people you're up against see right away you are. You make 'em believe they can't beat you, and they can't. - Tabitha King (from her book "One on One")
20. On Earth, our dear ones do live on through those of us to whom they were so very precious. (A personal favorite of mine)
Add your own!
I grew up listening to a lot of music. Some of my earliest memories are of listening to Bing Crosby or Nat 'King' Cole Christmas records. I have fond memories of sitting in the backseat of my father's maroon Pontiac, windows open as he drove to drop me off at cheerleading practice, listening to the classic rock station spinning The Who and Queen. I always talk about digging through my older sister's cassette tapes, looking for the latest mix of Hip-Hop dubbed from the radio. Most of all, my mother instilled in me this deeply sincere love for the Motown Sound. I don't even recall when or how it came about, I just know these records have always been near and dear to my heart.
And so, when I became aware that Maxine Powell, Motown's artist development queen, would be speaking at NYU on Friday night, I knew I had to be there. Maybe even in the front row. I RSVP'd and talked my 'networking buddy' into going, only to have her cancel on me later. I went anyway.
Sitting there, right of center, second row, I anxiously awaited Maxine Powell to take the stage, and to take me to another time and place. With the help of the interviewer, she appeared on stage, in a fabulously royal looking deep purple suit, complete with fur collar. She wore a black bowler hat and when she took her seat, she crossed one black heeled foot over the other. As she spoke, I noticed her red nail polish and a beautiful rhinestone, maybe even diamond, encrusted pinky ring. I should mention the woman is 90!
I learned that Ms. Powell taught Marvin Gaye how to sing with his eyes open, and taught the Supremes how to be graceful and how to properly enter a room. How did the name 'artist development' come about? "We'll call it what we're setting out to do--developing artists," she said. No biggie.
I lost myself in her words, and for most of the discussion, I felt like she was talking only to me. "Sometimes your dream doesn't happen when you want it to." she said, "Maybe you give it 6 months and it's not working out. But you alter your approach and you keep trying; you'll get there." Filling the conversation with little jokes and spunky remarks, she also said, "Some people will tell you you can't achieve your dreams. You just say under your breath, but I'm going to keep trying until I do."
I spent my Friday night with the woman responsible for giving a segregated country such elegant and graceful images of African American men and women. And something like that just doesn't happen everyday.
Labels: events, motown, new york, out and about
You know how when you have a job, all you want to do is stay home, sleep, relax, maybe read the paper?
But when you don't have a job, the very thought of another minute spent "relaxing" (if you could even call it that at this point) and reading makes you physically ill?
You can put me in category 2.
I'll admit, it hasn't been that long since I've been truly unemployed. I wake up in the morning and as soon as I remember why it's past 10 AM and I'm still in bed, the dread starts to build. I think about the impossible task, i.e., get on Craig's List, search through scams, er, I mean listings, and apply to zero, because none of them are what I need/want/am qualified for. Then I flip through the channels and announce, everyday, to myself, "THERE IS NOTHING ON TV!" Does anyone else but me have any idea what kind of crap is played on TV during the day? Yesterday I went to the reservoir in Central Park and went for a 1 1/2 mile run. I was feeling better afterwards and I even walked the 30 blocks home. I decided to adopt it as a daily ritual, until I got out of bed this morning and experienced extreme pain after months of not working out. I won't even talk about the phone call that went unnoticed this morning from the temp agency with an assignment for me today.
After sulking for most of the morning and early afternoon, I took myself to Border's. I could stay in a bookstore for hours and never get bored. I've always been in awe of the amount of knowledge housed in just one section, each book waiting to unlock a world of secrets. I spent a long time in there, by the time I left it was dusk. I treated myself to a book about women in the entertainment business. At this point, I need all the motivation I can get.
After reading countless pages of a different book, watching a documentary on Ellis Island, and making dinner, I thought my head might explode. Then I attempted to lose myself in the wonder that is Google.
Did you know you can take free tours of the Gold Vault at the Federal Reserve? Or that on certain days at certain museums like the Whitney or the Guggenheim you can name your price for admission? You can pay as little or as much as you want. How 'bout that, in honor of the holiday weekend, there is a Christopher Columbus Block Party tomorrow in New York? Does anyone even know what that involves? Did you know that there's a program called Big Apple Greeters in which someone visiting New York for the first time will be taken around the city by a native, all completely free? They also have a no-tip policy. What's not to like? And this weekend is Open House New York.
You know what the internet doesn't have for me? One decent job listing.
Labels: day in the life
I've failed.
Last week I went into work and Eva said to me, "Hi. Effective Thursday, we no longer work here." She was as nonchalant about it as asking me what I wanted for lunch. Truth be told, we both knew it was coming. There was no money in the budget anymore, and the record label has been stretching it pretty thin since the spring.
The problem though, lies in the fact that I failed to do what I set out to achieve. I started towards the end of June, and gave myself 3-4 months to turn nothing into something, to create an opportunity for myself. Unfortunately as I write this, its 1:53 on a Tuesday afternoon, and I am still in my pajamas. Some opportunity.
I've decided to give myself a certain amount of time to beat myself up over this before I start from scratch, again. I just can't decide how long that should be.
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