Intern Chick

At work, I feel like the outcast at recess who has no one to play with. In real life, I feel like a million bucks. Is there a sign on the door of my office building that read, "check your confidence at the door" ? If there is, I'm probably holding my head too high to see it, but one thing's for sure, my confidence never even makes it to the elevator.

The office culture at my job is like a secret society. Only the cool kids are allowed and somehow I snuck past the border and they let me in. I can tell the difference when I go to my newest internship and this one. At my new one, everyone smiles and says hello, if you're in the elevator with someone and they see you're getting off on the same floor with you, they immediately strike up a conversation with you because they know you are on their side. At this other internship though, its more like a contest, or something. Whenever I see someone walking around my office, I just get stared at blankly. Sometimes I get looked at up and down and I know all the females there are probably making fun of my clothes in their mind, I can just see it on their face. It didn't even bother me at first, it's just recently starting to get to me.

It is the meanest office culture I've ever experienced. But what are you gonna do about it? I talk to a few people here and there and have found that the ones that are most snotty are the ones that are in fear of their job (aka executive assistants and people who have made up jobs, (like "Brand Manager" seriously?)). The ones who are secure are fairly nice and at least you get a half smile from them.

I've never had such a hard time fitting in at the office before. My first internship it took just one day. The most recent internship I had before all of these, about a week and a half to two weeks before I started getting invited places. I recognize it usually takes longer than this but I'll never fit in at this one and I think I decided 3 weeks in I didn't WANT to fit in there. I could write a million blog entries on each specific person and the things I've noticed while at work, but I don't want to get down to their level.

Here's one indication though, that says a whole lot. I sit next to a mirror. Why there's a mirror in the office, I'll never know, but I sit next to it (a living hell when you're having a bad hair day, its a constant reminder that you look like a crazy person). People come up to this mirror non stop all day to look at themselves in it and make sure they look okay...and no one ever says hello to me. I've said hello to them and have been met with blank stares. Really? I'm all for checking myself in the mirror as much as the next person, but I'm not for having an ego so huge there isn't room for anyone else to be on my side.

My thing is, if we're all working for the same company, we should all be working towards one common goal...when the company does good, we all do good and when one of us messes up, we all mess up. I've seen battles between companies in the music industry, and I've seen the claws come out, but not between people who are on the same team.

There's always someone tryin to take your spot, and there always will be. I'm just glad I'm not the one who's so worried about it that I forgot how to act...